Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
