Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
