Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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