If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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