Your mouth is God's brothel.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
