So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
50% drunk capacity currently
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
