I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
