Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
