I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize