Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
