he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
