I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
