its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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