she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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