I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
