Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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