Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
