We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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