I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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