we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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