i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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