this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
