Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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