We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
