I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
