She announced her abortion via fbk
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Found your dick twin last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize