First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize