so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Someone shit on the floor
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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