You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
