Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
