Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
one might say we're banned from that church
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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