I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
