Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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