i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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