Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
false alarm. still invincible.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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