I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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