You don't have asthma, your pregnant
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
