He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize