Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
