$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
