Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
