just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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