Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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