Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
