from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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