the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
