She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
