I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
