True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
