dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
