Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
