She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize