Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
