According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
