The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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