is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
