I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
