My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
