Me too!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The uberlube is also flammable
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
