i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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