I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
