**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize