its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
