awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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